no different but special

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http://musicjazz59.blogbus.com/logs/40536155.html

what about me
i do this just for fun? actually not
but why i feel this way?
i know it is to me a wasting of time or to him the same sort of thing,but i can't help myself doing this.
stupid embarrising ...low day

finally, finished watching Gossip Girl.the happiest moment should be C&B getting together.the tension releases,dreaming of  a story could never happen....low again

i need someone,someone in and out there.but after all,how dare i even hope there is one.till the day i can face myself or it would never happen.